Saturday, February 03, 2007


in the dead of a friday night/ saturday morning.

my popo's cremation and funeral service was today. :(

next wk is gonna be a hectic sch week. good cos there's work. maybe i need some work in my life so i wont feel so useless.

just spent a very long time again, thinking about how i should go about doing this digital divide photo assignment. came up with loads of comparisons. just tt dunno if its applicable.

i dunt really like this. school things.

i have a feeling my creative thoughts and wadveer side i have of it is being very stifled.

i think of my work, get scared of it, think of how brilliantly well my sch mates will do it and i feel so dry and empty. and uninspired.

and i know, this is NOt the person i am. i am actually very vibrant and alive one lor.

in this technologically mesmerised curriculum i seem to be studying, i cant think. cant let my thots flow. cant think of a theme. big ideas. underlying meanings. how things should gel together to form this lovely concept :(

where'd all tt go? i AM capable of all tt ok. just tt this course cant propel me and nurture me in the way im more suited for.

i feel very bounded by the set of rules and way and steps to go about doing things. i want freedom to roam and discover for myself. NOt the rigidity of ie: writing a proper lead for a news piece/ steps to do before u conduct an interview. y all the systematic!??

grit my teeth and go on. so spartan. so hard. so cold.

charlene said a lil' prayer for you at 2:53 AM