Tuesday, September 05, 2006
A few weeks ago in all desperation when i asked God to carry me through my ballet syllabus, i didn't know God meant it in an even bigger way!
Since that week, my work seemed to pick up and didn't seem so horrendous and God was really doing a good job holding me up! But then last week, with barely a week and a little more days to the exam-the final hurdle, God decided that i was really too heavy and He needed to, and decided to, carry more of my weight upon His shoulders.
In a brief moment when He was leaving me on my own for just abit, i very heavily and fatly went down hard on my poor innocent ankle after not preparing properly for a balone simple(pronounced, bah-lon-ay sump).
And i only finally begin to see the lesson today.
when i asked Him to carry me and help me through,i guess He really wanted to help me All the Way! and Carry All of me! to heave me up off that injured ankle so that i can still carry on dancing.
I wobbled back to class again last saturday and things did not look very good. and i told myself till monday. after exactly a week. must really get back.
and so today during class, (and ms ong was back from Hong Kong already) i finally managed to rise up on demi-pointe (means to tip toe) and it didn't hurt so bad any more. was quite amazed i actually managed to do a little pointe on the bad foot also.
which means God was still there carrying me, holding me up-- only this time, it was more on Him. more reliance.
and that's how i'll go in to the exam room this friday. to dance it all out and to know God is with me and behind and before me. so there's really nothing to fear. it's also funny how this time, when i hurt my ankle, i knew things were going to be alright. or rather, i didn't feel upset at all. didn't go home and cry (which i am capable of actually). And just settled down and took on the attitude to just wait patiently for it to heal in it's own time.
it's like, or rather, also, waiting on the Lord. the great physician, mighty healer, to do his wonderful work, in His time.
'your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
each day ([insert]i know i must and often forget but still) i fall on my knees
cause Your grace, still amazes me.' -Craig and Dean Philips, album:Let my words be few.
now back to do Annotated Bibliography due this friday!
charlene said a lil' prayer for you at 1:00 AM
