Tuesday, June 13, 2006


Now that im back from camp. im happy. but alas. going back to usual things today im feeling horrid.

because i feel like the prodigal son now.

Because now i have run into financial problems. and its only good that it starts at this stage. and not the serious big kind where i have a home mortgage and car loan and insurance n credit card payment kinda thing.

what i did today? today was a nice quiet day for the first part. woke up too too early and trudged with sista to BBDC dearest. her first lesson today. she had a good time. the man was nice and even played a prank on her. a young chap. and i had stage one evaluation today. thank God i passed tt. mr 'BBDC Instructor' was merciful enough to pass me.

then we went to fajar for breakfast. i ate duck mee fen and she, wanton mee. then she went to the doc and we bought lunch for later. once home, i went to slacking.

well, not straightaway. on my way home the song we sang for easter 'Oh how He loves you and me' was going on in my head. beautiful song! so i digged up the score and attempted it for a long while on the piano. the score was set in A minor! or mebe not. it had 4 flats! d,e,a,b. i was certainly not used to that! brain had to switch function. example. normally when u see a d and f note, you'd auto think it's an f sharp. but no. this time, it was d flat and f was to be left alone! yea. had fun on the piano. but got bored later cos of my great incompetency and lack of skill.

then i went to eat a few mouthfuls of lunch and went to snooze from 1.40 to 2.45. but woke up by 2.30. and felt nth. anyway, b4 snoozing i just lay in bed and stare at nothing. and i dont mind tt at all. although tts really wasting my life away and being a lazy. and God hates sloth. but i like quiet and alone. hehe. and really stoning. it really makes sense. sometimes, we crave tt. self recuperating thing.

then at 3 plus got ready to leave for jazz. got fired slightly for not turning up last wk which is entirely my fault.b4 tt, dropped at lot one to pick up my 'prince of egypt soundtrack'! such wonderful music arrangements.tt hans zimmer guy is brilliant.

oh i must add. since i've been pretty jobless for the month of june, i came home from driving today and found 36 dollars on my bed. haha. my allowance is back! my mother's love in 36 bucks to buy me over. thanks mum. it made me smile and laugh. although i know it won't last.

i've been spoilt. come on! at frutta, which isnt the highest paying of jobs, i get 40 for a single shift! but 36 bucks still brings me back to my humble beginnings.

and of that 36. on a monday, 30 bucks is already gone. 20 on the cd, which wld've been given to some other kid if i din claim it fast. and ten for tpt. what's left? six bucks. talk abt stretch your dollar.

But as of today. as i return to society. and take the mrt. and pay out my little livlihood expenses. i realise i've not been making wise choices. w all the wage i've earned so far.

as of now all of it's gone. zapped away.

i'm in quite a mess.

because i realised i hopped into many major transactions knowing today would eventually come yet ignored it. i went into all of it without careful prayer. one of the biggest burden is the driving thing. and the second not so serious is the dino dance. the third pending issue is hall-staying. and the next thing on my mind is the jazz exam next tuesday. for which i am in bad shape. if anything else to add to my big financial void, is my ballet exam fees in sept of 345 or sth like that.

But i must admit im feeling all these now. largely cos. after jazz today and the way lesson turned out (whereby the truth was forced in my face tt i suck still) i cant make it for tomorrow's lesson. due to my other not so impt comittments.

i feel as if i signed up for everything and am now pressed for time. i cant go for jazz tmr cos i have driving at 1.55 and jazz is at 3. and then im also whacking to go for dino dance morning class. so i go for driving and dino when what's most impt is my jazz.

my exam is exactly a week away. and i have to do well! but my brain wont master e wrk. plus my physical ass of a self isnt doing wad i shld do also-go for class. if not..100 bucks will be down the drain too.hai.

im in a rut.

God provide a way out pls. amen.

all these cos i never seek Him properly.Or tithe properly (gasp!). a tiny example in the beginning of my life as to what can happen when u go off and live off life on your own. yay to me.

charlene said a lil' prayer for you at 12:14 AM