Friday, June 30, 2006
did i mention that chris and i did lower junior worship again last sunday. and this time it was my turn to do the lesson cos chris did it e last time. but halfway through, obviously the kiddies didnt quite get me anymore. and chris stepped in to help explain certain stuff. tt girls a great kid teacher i tell you. she's just good. she can go down to their level and say 'you know, when you..,blah blah blah right..(then the kids will respond,yeaa) then she'll continue. and they'll get her(ohhh..).but, as everyone has differing gifts. i feel more comfortable in doing the smaller things like memory verse, or songs and offering and such like that. taking a whole bible lesson is too big for me. gave out oreo cookies as little 'prizes'.
so soon, a week has gone by!
monday, morning was spent at dino. dragged my butt there for fitball and modern dance exercise. and i felt just plain tired. so i kinda dragged through everything.then we had YTF!! for lunch! the super duper nice one! after eating one bowl u just crave for another. orchard yongtaufoo is e name of e stall at cuppage plaza! then after a little hanging around it was ballet at 515 followed by jazz. and we reached class at 6. so urm. i dunno what to call it. but i dont like to be late. but whenever im late, i go into this mode whereby you just dont care anymore n just continue w what u have to do. cos the time has passed n nth will change e situation so u juse move on. good thing ms ong didnt scold!
and part of me lagged at dino cos i was thinking of the ballet class later. and all the extra energy i'd have to expand so i cant tire my legs out too badly. and part of me thinks that's really not fair to put other things first and neglect my ballet. cos tt's most impt. but for the sake of exercise and moving around. and fighting my own fat self. and clocking 'dino hours'..haha!
ms ong ask where was my exam form. ask if i taking exam anot. and of course, in the face of her, no one can ever dare to say a flat 'no.' so i just nodded feebly a yes. and there it was decided- i am taking exam. no two ways about it. set. my 'destiny'.
tt monday night was spent bugging the mother for fees, which adds to more unwanted nagging.
so tuesday, after 1 session more of dino( was too tired to get out of bed in time for pilates. and tt one session happened cos of swee's promting 'must go for dino ok!'), i walked all the way to fareast for subway!! and then went on to get soft pointes and pointes. another move when you 'confirm taking exam'.and followed ms ong n herlinda in her car up to tampines for another ballet n jazz session. by then my legs die tired already.
and my balance is bad. and ms ong became angry at e class. and we were made to do pirouettes ending in open position and fondu many times.and she brought me back down to the basics where i dont turn but just stay up on releve. and hai. to think i STILL have to go back to basics. what IS wrong w me?! i promised myself 2 yrs back i wld get these turns RIGHT! and still have not.shit me la!
'your work is not as strong anymore. but it can be! i dont know why you cant balance as well anymore. and your weight is too far back. you need to find your centre' -ms ong.
you know what all this means to me? YOU'RE TOO FAT to handle all these BALLET Already! its only one screaming reason. sigh. no matter how many things she says. to me, i know the real reason.
and in times like these. you think. still take exam ah? can't do this and all that. and your body dies on you. and your body doesnt even look like a body! it looks like a fatbag. still doing exam?
i still handed in the form and cheque tt night. i guess its a promise to myself. im bashing through.
all the pain. sweat and crap to come. no one ever thought its gonna be hard. but it will be.
you know, when you dream up the scenario, everything looks nice and possible. only when you DO IT FOR REAL. that's when all the real things come in. those little specs of hardship all lumped together. to remind you you're not superhuman. and it hurts to be a physical human being. in all our limitations and shortcomings.
on tuesday night, i settled down to do something Savage!! i ripped my pointe shoes and turned them into soft pointes! so i kinda regret buying new soft pointes after converting my pointes to soft pointes. ( basically to do the 'conversion' you just take out the middle piece in the shoe so e support is gone)that took three hours. slept in e wee hrs.pity i didnt get to use it on wednesday and im not able to go for class tmr too!
wednesday was die out day. bu4 zhi1 bu4 jue2 de4, a little ache began to manifest itself in my knee. first it was one knee, then two knees. i find getting up from squatting position a tad uncomfy. makes me anticipate a little yeouch! each time.
thursday was frutta day. dont talk about gelato consumption ok. haha. was looking forward to a funan hairwash and cut. but was fully booked. so i felt like jonah again.
ps: i think jonah shall be my life story figure and example.
i kena de-toured. and sent to do what was originally meant to be. what i packed for. evening dino class. haha. so take train go somerset. and i dont regret it. ignore the cranky knee. and did fitball, dance fitness and dino 'treated' me to a hip-hop class also. hehe. so i DID have FUN! last night.
thank God :)
that was better therapy than some hair wash n all tt ice cream settling in me. but i managed to jigg it around abit :)
today.. went to sentosa with denise and char q! that's all folks! and sentosa is just a good place to be.
tmr gonnabe another great day! baby eden's one month old! actually today is the exact date. followed by bro sis night.
maybe choose kids church song by tmr.
cos we're doing it on the 9th of july.
charlene said a lil' prayer for you at 11:22 PM
