Tuesday, November 15, 2005
"hello everybody! how have the holidays been for you? mine have been fine. with very empty days totally free to do anything i want to do: which means study. it's weird how i haven't gone out since the hols started two weeks ago.stayed most days at home. went out for a few dinners.that's about it. occasionally going on for a few days now, i have been going back to school on certain days for exams. that's all.so the hols have been left much to my own free time, except for those days where i have papers."
yea. if only. if you think about it. we are actually in holidays already. despite all the mad studying (which i know im not doing enuff of, thus still feeling casually relaxed),we've been left to days free to us, allowing us to decide how we want to spend it(altho we all spend it on the same thing for now-study). i mean no more lessons in school frees up your day by a lot and really makes a big difference. we should try to see it with a broader view. all this study is clouding our minds up making us think we're in a hell hole, dying to escape some one week later. BUT! it's not that bad. it's all how we view it. once again, it all boils down to -perception. hahaha!
but anyway! it's really nice to know that after this last week, i'll be as free as a sky lark! under no one's supervision whatsoever. no cca's to commit to, no going back to school for extra lessons etc.
it's true. thinking back last year, i realised i really was not all that free. for one, dance cca, yes, that thing from the past was clouding most of my holiday. most other days were spent at math extras and econs supplementary! the only break i had was when i was away in chiang mai amd church camp. perhaps maybe that's why when i think of last yr, the supposed 'greener' pastures than this, all i think abt was the thailand trip and christmas. forgetting all the other externalities which really didnt cheer me much. hence, my hols last yr weren't all that thrilling. it's just the present seems a lil worse. but looking back, given the choice, i would rather be here. yes. here. in the midst of the A levels. in the day of 15 november(!! u dont quite note dates in e midst of exams), having just done econs paper 3 in the afternoon and awaiting papers 1 and 2 tomorrow. i'd rather be here. and yes.
i'll thank God for placing me where i am now.(it's a test of faith and trust and drawing close)
amidst all that crazy useless worrying and fears and freak outs and choumeikulian.s
i know it's ending. so i'll miss it and make the most of it.
and after this, it'll be 6 months of just letting my brain go to rot. not having to think anymore! or so i think. u never know what's next anyway.
so till then.. and till a lil more than a week.
i'll see you again...happy and free as a bouncing ball!!!
with something to share about how God carried me through. :)
charlene said a lil' prayer for you at 8:58 PM
