Tuesday, September 20, 2005
oh regrets. i hate regrets. sitting here with a bloated tummy, i think..why charlene..why.
i am losing control dammit!
my stomach is bulging, i dont feel good at all. and im gonna pay and suffer the consequences. not worth it at all. once again: food is the enemy.
went to watch madagascar at the padang. rather cool. and martin the zebra is so cute and zainy. hehe.
40cents piglet sucks. granny's are still the best.
anyway, once again i must say, i hate the way parents are SO stereotyped with one way tract kinda thinking. i really don't like the way they're so opinionated. or other words, narrow.
haha. she said uncle david is overseas and backslided. so if i go overseas my soul will be lost. so i also cannot go. eh hello? uncle david is not representative of the world! thank God for tt. 'because one thing resembles, the whole thing is rotten'. how narrow narrow narrow!!!i dont know how to use it but the only word i can think of in relation to this is 'synecdoche'.i wonder which idiot came up with the phrase 'one rotten apple spoils the whole basket'. it's really stupid you know. i hate it! loss of individualism. see what im talking about. the degeneration of human race. where everyone belongs to everyone else. and everyone is everyone else. i feel so repulsed just thinking about it. it's sick. i need a 'Hateweek' or sth to release negativities.
who is she to say my spiritual state is lacking just cos im being rude through and through to them? well she may be right. good job mum!
anyway what's the matter. she thinks im this lousy christian which i am. so there's no argument about it. i don't need her to keep reminding me. worse. her case or reason is cos- i am rude= that's why i am not walking closely with God. huh!? where did that come from. see. my mum's lacking in concrete examples. don't blame me for being so low in standard and iq. you know where it came from.
who are they to think that b-p church people are oh so true and righteous. gawd. that's probably the very thing which puts people off. just cos other churches dont do things the way you do dont mean theyre wrong ok. just cos theyre from city harvest dont mean theyre all going to hell, or they're ingenuine. cos i dare say. there are more in there who are more fervent and have a true yearning to grow than pew warmers in cold bp churches. i dare say that.
it's just unfortunate that they're in a church which may have a lot of distractions which may hinder their growth. but nonetheless. they are genuine. besides. its also not as if we're growing and sprouting/flourishing in b-p churches very much ourselves. so what's the argument huh?
God loves everyone and that's enough said. why go fight?
yea. i may have just shown myself to be loosely grounded in the faith. thinking aiyah. anything also can. well perhaps. but whatever ok. no one is ever too good. everyone!! just shut up! and await your own judgement before God. eurgh!
*disgust*
alrite. this has been a very hateful entry. pardon me.
charlene said a lil' prayer for you at 12:06 AM
