Friday, May 13, 2005


i find it most uncanny that everytime i think of something against dance (hah, actually that's like all the time) urm i mean everytime i have this idea formulated in my head to not go for dance, although i know its impt, my phone will beep with a msg from one of those annc fellas. i think im one of them. blah! eurgh. its almost like divine intervention.

sigh.God wants me to go for dance. i think i rather go niniveh than go for dance.

so anyway, its like this. before i stepped into the shower, i was thinking of sending a msg to ask nana to show birdman sth like :dance is so passe,i will not be going anymore' hahah!

when i checked my phone, her msg was'hey gal, tmr there's dance at 230..must come k!!cox on tues many j2's pon and mdm lee was super pissed off..she askd me to inform every j2 to attend tml's practice'

wth! *rolls eyes.* *rolls again* *rollllsssss..*

i wanna send this' when can we stop the whole thing?Frankly i personally see no point in going and i think its a waste of time.have no more interest in dance.But nonetheless for the sake of i dunno what, i think i'll go'

but its always the thing of holding back the tongue/thumb. we say a lot of things out of pique. i,on the other hand, think a lot of things instead. but they never do come out. i wonder what will really happen if i just go crazy one day, forsake everything, risk it all and just blabber off. hahaha! so fun!

my frens msn nick reads: courage isn't the absence of fear but the knowledge that something else is more important.

and step one could all be in the 'send' button.

then if i send such a message, its so bad of me.

i think, actually everyone there is nice. i have no queries about that. mdm lee is nice. too! she always buys food for us. when we have performance, she will buy breakfast. they care. when she visited from maternity leave, she bought snacks from prima deli. sigh. and i eat it.then i feel bad. can u imagine i send this kinda msg then when i go dance, i have to :D :D :D ?? wth. its like if i send sucha msg, i will feel more of a hypo now tt its made known tt i dont like them. but what's e diff? i am already secluded in dance. and common sense and feelings will show tt i obviously dont feel anything for them.

seriously. why should i care. its just food.anyone can be nice.

i like to say: argh nvm! wont die. ' eevrything also wont die.

it's because of this i skip pe, skip dance, skip certain lesson.and even skip school.

in primary school, what's our definition of die? your fren walks up to you and tells you ' eh u die! the teacher is gonna call your parents!!!' tell me now. do i look as if i care?

in secondary school, if you're late more than three times u get dc, then suspension. dc never ever came. much less suspension. other times, it was ' if you dont hand in your work, i will issue beta form' there was a time mrs chew was known as beta queeen. her beta forms lost their worth and became like banana money.

so what's the point in it all?

im sick and tired of threats. of lies. to make you do their will. nothing ever comes true anyway. and so what if it does? i still wont die.

hahha! everything is fun to me.

you go for dc, its fun. everything's a new experience. look, its not like evryone has the chance to do dc, and before that, they dont get the thrill of doing trivial naughty things. you dont try, u never know.

can i be vicious?

i float between outburst and wanting to be half nice.why do i care so much. then i hurt myself internally. feelings are to be made known. dont care the result.

uncle adrian's ex wife developed lung cancer cos she kept things which upset her within herself. 'a stitch i time saves nine'

so im sending.

charlene said a lil' prayer for you at 12:07 AM