Monday, January 24, 2005


'God will make a way, when there seems to be no way..'

haha. just a lil sharing..

last monday night, i was all hyped up to go for ballet on tuesdae evening. and then came in a msg on my phone from hui teng.

" hey girl, lydia's leaving on wednesday. maybe we should meet up tomorrow and have dinner if not we'll only be able to see her a week later."

at this, i thot' argh. shucks!'

i replied: ' oh no! sorry! i've got ballet tmr night and i didnt go last week already..how how??'

not giving a second thot of the 'gravity of the situation'. i simply gave the usual 'no' as a reply. despite the tugging feeling of having to turn my dearies down once more. (the number of times i meet them is far less than the no. of times i turn them down)

of course i did feel bad. cos lydia was leaving for aussie. and besides, i havent met them for at least 2 months.

oh but then im insensitive so i just brushed off tt naggy feeling.

guess what?

that night, as i read tt book i've been reading, here's what it said: sth about how relationships matter more than things we're always after. when we get to heaven, God's not gonna look at how much we've achieved or how much we've done, but how many souls we've saved, and how we have treated others. (hah. so very guilty in this dept) also, how we're supposed to love one another,more so for those in the family of God. 'by this shall all men know tt ye are my disciples if ye have love one for another' haha, i felt tt spoke to me abt tt tiong issue. and why i had tt conviction and dodgey feeling whenever i was being mean to her. and then i was also thinking shit shit. my dear sec sch frens. so i just said a prayer and trusted tt God will make a way. i also prayed for a chance to talk about God. and then i went to sleep.

i woke up in the morning, it felt the same,but i did remember the prayer. i was waiting to see what would happen, uncertainly though. ( i told u i still have this problem of doubting) then guess what? on the wae to sch, dad's car tyre ponchek! (punctured) so he stopped by the road and changed it. of course by then confirm late for school already la. ironic thing was i just collected my pass on mondae, it'll be senseless to have it confiscated again the very nxt dae! so he dropped me off at the bus stop at 750 and i planned to stone there till 8 when the councillors would clear.

just then, pearly's msg came!~ 'are u late todae?:)' tt girl is super cute! haha long story short, we went to macs for breakfast till 9. and skipped geog lecture. on the wae back, we suddenly talked abt death. first it was committing suicide then how u feel when u die. i knew tt was the chance to share the gospel or rather, shift the conversation to Christ. hah. but i backed out. i knew tt was it. but all i managed was how for christianity, we believe we'll go to heaven cos we believe in God and (i left the part of dying for our sins out) so really. it didnt amt to anything la. but i thank God for tt chance anywae. though i blew it.

then the ballet issue. i was thinking the whole dae abt it. bugging poor mich. and trying to justify both sides of my lousy plight. in the end, i did decide to meet the girls. just heck ballet. secretly, i was thinking wld class ever be cancelled or sth? but anywae, i msged them and went to meet them after dance prac in school.

sent ms ong tt horrible msg beginning w 'sorry ms ong, i wont be able to come in for class todae cos..( suggest a new reason each time)'

had a great time w the girls tt night as always. and im glad i met them. theyre just always there. and we all talked rubbish and managed to chat like normal. remember this? and remember that? :)

as i went home tt night, i was just thinking ah well, at least God did fulfill one part of my prayer. and well, missing ballet another week wont kill also..so maybe it'll be alrite after all--( as consolation)

and when i went for ballet on saturday, ms ong wasnt even in class last tuesdae! she was sick! hahaha. so wonderful yea? (God's ways. not e part tt she got sick)

yup. so i was like wow!! thank you Lord!

hmm but i was feeling so bugged by the material things issue cos i realised 3/4 of my life and all of my saturday's have gone to ballet. as a result i dont go out at all, nor go for yf or anything. i was thinking is it all worth it? or was it even right? i mean i still did enjoy ballet as much and i still love it tonnes but i was wondering wld it be worthed it at the end of it. cos what was i really after anywae? all my life its 'cannot.got ballet.' so standard. i wasnt ready to give it up. i hope God will show me a wae in this avenue if He wills. but i still havent found an answer. not yet. so im still going for ballet every saturdae. and going on as if running on clockwork.

just maybe now, should take more consideration of how i often meet up w my dear pals cos they are the ones who will matter at the end of the day.

lydia's coming back soon! so we'll have to meet up again.

*somehow this entry doesnt seem to gel very smoothly. but anywae,
Goodnight!

charlene said a lil' prayer for you at 10:41 PM