Friday, December 10, 2004
haish. i got sick on tuesday night.
sore throat plus runny nose kinda sick. since then, i've been blowing my eardrums out and getting a headache from that. so i skipped dance on wednesday. now there's just one more day to go and that's tomorrow, i feel as if i'm overseas. hahaha. i like the feeling of giving the impression of m-i-a, or rather, plain irresponsible. hai. BUT im still sick la! and i gotta get cured before saturday which is the day after tomorrow!
how how? plus, its 12:08 am on a friday morning, and i haven't bathed, which means when i do, i'll have wet hair and i gotta wait for it to dry, which means i'll only be in bed by one and if i have to wake by 730, then i dont get enough rest, and will get more sick! and if it develops, i can screw the whole trip, which i have been so looking forward to!
what makes it worse, is that i've been happily on my own, and then i get a msg from vivien telling me there's dance at 930 tomorrow. yea yea, i know! haha. but i guess she's just doing her bit of 'welfare department' kinda thing. which was really nice and sweet of her. i feel remembered, loved(ok just abit) and cared for. but after thinking that, and being in the clouded fantasy, i remember, i don't like being in the dance room cos its hot and stuffy and i always feel too fat to jump around. im too heavy and my ankles and knees suffer. so how? nice rhetorical question.
like come on! here i am sitting and typing and i already know/think im not gonna be there. and you know how true the saying is of 'you are what you think you are' or ' whatever you think will happen' yea. so the mind is a very powerful thing, for motivation and blah.
Also, if this involves having to wake up EARLY, being dragged out of bed, it really won't work. plus mum has given up on waking me, she simply wont care after a few tries, which will obviously end up in vain. so yes. i don't think i'll be there.
i really think im in johor bahru now ok! i guess im disillusioned. : Pp
haish. i really need a bath.
ok and so, my cousins are back from australia but i've yet to see them. and i'm leaving saturday and we're not having dinner at granny's tmr. then we'll be gone after that.
i like the christmas songs this year. oh yea, girls going to chiangmai,-edith and alyssa, remember our choir files eh;)
my mum's been bugging me to pack since yesterday and i have :) just the clothes. which means i'm only 1/4 packed. tmr shall be continuation.
i realised, amidst all the things i need, there's still a schoolbag. i simply forgot all about that, cos i havent been going to school, and left my schoolbag (handed down from sis) lyging on the floor neglected.
ahh yes, there was once, i guess ive shared before. i was carrying that bag and then this army fella walked into the mrt train and stood somewhere near where i was seated. ( the bag was on my lap) then i looked at him, and saw his bag, it was THE SAME. to make things worse, his bag looked nicer and cleaner than mine. his was clean, mine was like dulled with this layer of dirt and dust. can you imagine navy blue , and then it actually gets darker than tt cos of dirt? yea. tt was the state of my bag. goodthing he left the train one or two stops later before others noticed. haha. so malu.
oh yes, so i need, 'that perfect pair of shoes' when i dont even know what i want. a new school bag (but its quite pointless cos i'll only use it for a yr then i'll be in uni, and no one carries backpacks in uni. not e girls) some new bed sheets and nicely coloured curtains for my messy room, i need the colour therapy to make it look less disastrous. urm, oh yes, a new pencil case, but i've kind of put off tt idea, cos once again i couldnt find 'that perfect cat pencil case, big enough' and the present situation of my pencil case doesnt look so stuffed anymore. besides, that has sentimental value cos lydia gave it to me in sec 2! :)
hmm, but i always go months without getting them and then forget totally about them so nevermind me.
oh yes, and then there's always tt never-ending need of clothes. which once again, cant seem to know what i want exactly, so im putting it off also. plus, i look horrible in everything i try, cos im too fat. so
the number one thing i need is to lose weight. which also means i may just need to resort to slimming pills cos im too lazy and lack discipline.
oh yes, which also means i need discipline. and to stop being lazy. aiyah. basically i need a pass to go to 'people repair centre'. hhahaha and that is PRC. ok no nothing intended. i just realised.
its 1233. i still haven bathe. and yes the dance thing.
the best option is to bathe now, go to sleep and wake up tomorrow and see what happens. nyahahaha! if the clock reads 8, then good. if it reads 10 plus 11, then 'oops!' hahahahah!!!! : Pp
charlene said a lil' prayer for you at 12:08 AM
