Monday, March 15, 2004
first dae of the long awaited holidae, and it isnt half as good as what it seemed to be...
i shall go bathe now. watch the line.........
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back now. arhhh...suddenly dunno what to write. i actualli had quite a few things on my mind...well, we'll see how it comes along.
woke up at 12 todae, bummed around till 1 then i called lydia and made plans to meet for lunch! so met her at 2 at mac's, and then xun wei and gang were studying at e table next to us, and he was being such an irritating pest. he just seemed so...childish. the remarks he was making. esp when it didnt concern him, and the lame shit he was giving us. it totally irks me. i dunno pple who make senseless comments about anything just get thrown into my blackbook straight away. yea. and looking at the poor group of boys mugging away for O levels, it's so poor thing and so yesteryear for both of us.we're so glad we're out of the whole thing. it was a trying uncertain year, which had the big O at the back of our heads subconciously despite wad we do. it was mentally draining. i so pity them having to slog thru now. and they were pouring over their e-math bk. making notes for graph i think. sth to do w distance btw two lines. i totally forgot the formula!!! hahaha. but who cares now. its all the past! and im glad for tt.
took a few crazy pics w her and then my camera died so had to go home charge batteries. that girl, haha. so eager for me to send the photos over. i tell u, im like e fastest photo developer or sth. instantly the moment i get home, load it onto the com and send it out :)
then i left at 420. was late. by the time i reached tampines, it was already 6! plus todae we had a guest teacher taking the class. she's actually a ballet examiner. i remember, she examined me for grade three, and she gave me only commended! after that i kinda lost most of my confidence in ballet, i thot i'd never see distinction again :|
the work she gave us was something different from what we always do. i always like it when guest teachers come in. and was looking forward to lesson today despite feelinga little under the weather. well, at least
that was what i thought.
after stepping in 15 min late, mumbled a sorry, then squeezed myself at the back of the barre, in which when i faced the other side, there's hardly any space between me and the wall, i could just as well kiss it. but i kinda dismissed that and tried to enjoy the barre section. it wasnt bad. as i said, new things were tried and experimented. its always an eye opener.
so time moved on and it was time for center. i though things could only get better! tried again, to squeeze into the third line. then just as i was getting comfy, i heard a voice, coming from bernadettem "charlene, come to the back" so i said ok(biggest mistake). and moved into the
bloddy! back line. from then on, my hopes were shattered, i could have as well walked outta class. i hated the back row!! i'd rather be anywhere than at the back row!
i couldnt SEE anything going on in FRONt of the class, couldnt SEE what she was demo-ing. couldn't MAKE OUT three quarts or the excercise and had people ramming into me almost half the time. every little thing i did, i would whack into someone or have someone whack me. of course, i'd feel worse than i already was, cos i would think it was my size, cos i was TOO BIG, that i was taking too much of space in that scarce amt of wad u wldnt even call space, tt e back row provided. i cld've as well just danced INTO the mirror and into the walls.
my worst nightmares came when she ordered things to be done LINE BY LINE. i couldve just killed myself and died. so obviously, the music went on beautifully, the first row started,
dancing,
lightweight ballerina's, slightly gliding above the floor. then the second line proceeded. the
melodious music went on..third line, then the unfortunate back row. i tried, a proper start,
stumbled in the middle of the excercise,
screwed up the second half, and
plonked heavily on the finish. of course! not forgetting the music, it was totally a pain to see such elephant routines fumbling to the tune of sucha sweet melody. i killed whatever thing there was in the whole excercise or music to appreciate. it was horrible.
she, evidently lost interest in our black marked row. for one, they're naturally biased to thin people in the ballet world. so when u see a back row, with two fatties and a blur, who cannot co-ordinate proper ballet movements to music, u will totally just flip and get on with the rest of the class. that, was what she did exactly. i dont blame her. i felt stupid myself. i couldve puked at myself for such appaling piece of work. but then, it was me. so. i wont expect much.
it got so bad, as things proceeded, she wouldnt even stay to observe the back row! before we're even done with our excercise, she goes on the correct the previous rows and rushes on to the next excercise.
everything was downhill, i was almost thankful for the reverence. it marked the end of class.
after class, what i heard was so not in line with what i experienced. "class was good eh?" " her moves were so interesting" "her steps are all so waltzy and dancey" " and i liked the...." blah blah. i tried to listen...and forget my ordeal. you know the outcome.
maybe all would be different, im most positive of that. if i weren't in the damn BACK ROW. all because of bernadette. just cos SHE wants to stick in e back row doesnt mean i want to ok? i'd rather disappear into the mirror than do a class at e back. even if that means workinf harder, no slacking and the risk of being yelled at. i wouldnt mind. i'd give anything. not to be in e back row. tt's how much i loathe it ok?! alrite?
aniwae, tomorrow, we'll all just get a scolding from ms ong cos we werent very good. valerie bailey was shaking her head and blah. not a good sign. we're all waiting for feedback.
so aniwae, after ballet, i told some of it to veron but aniwae, then made my wae down to taka. im so bored of taking trains. even e ride on nel on saturdae got boring after awhile.
went to e 11th storey and saw zhi yun n sze yi hanging around whilst uncle tony n dad were discussing some stuff. haha. it felt so good to see them again. it just made my day. then zhi yun came over, being e jumpy girl she was. she bounced up and down and hugged my errr...thighs. shes really small and light! then they got bored and started drawing on the wyteboard in the conference room! hah. then i joined in cos i was bored. then i hadta piggyback zhi yun outta e room. she's sucha lively little gurl:)
left for dinner at 9 plus. went to zion. with auntie may, uncle tony, sze yi and zhi yun. tse shuin was awae at scout camp. much to the joy and happiness of his sisters. they were so happy to sit our car. theyre e only ones who've showed interest in riding our car. so aniwae, they packed in and then sze yi made me re-do the superman,spiderman,batman cheer. then zhi yun was being cheeky, she dumped my dad's briefcase at sze yi's side and sze yi went" hey! u think im e junkyard issit? dont anyhow put it at my side!" haha. so cute! i mean u just NEVEr know what kids wld say!
after a very messy dinner, we went home :) that's monday.
charlene said a lil' prayer for you at 11:45 PM
