Wednesday, June 18, 2003


it feels good to be back, typing in a blog entry. =)

don't ask me why, im mad. im listening to the elementary cd. hmm..port de bra. as if i haven't heard enough of it, these past two days..

was watching the show Ghost before my bathe. it's abit like city of angels or sth like that. supernatural in the human world, trying to make a connection. quite a sweet storyline.

aniwae, i think ive put on way too much , above the limit.yes, i know ive been fat all along, and somehow thot i was able to "hide" it, and not look so fat. but recently, i guess it has become impossible. whatever i wear,i just see the work "pudgy" written all over. everywhere, there'll be a bulge sticking out somewher. sigh- welcome to the world of FAT charlene. maybe when i was out these few days, and people notice sth around me, they'd probably say sth like "there, do you see? that thing, next to that FATTY there..." and yes. that fatty would be me. i shall accept the new title -charlene the fatty- its always been this way actually, just that...it's much worse and obvious now. im finally out of denial. everyone's relieved.

i woke up late on sunday morning. and oops! i suddenly cant rememeber. i really feel like Dory! hmm..ok. message was given by rev Daniel Khoo. ah yes. it was rather soul searching kinda thing. he asked the congregation ten qtns, and u were supp to raise your hand if you agreed or whatever. at that point of time, i was reading the bulletin, and so, wasnt paying attenion, till mom nuged me to put up my hand. and i gave a really low raise. i looked more like having my chin cupped in my palm. maybe from the pulpit he could see. but ahh..nevermind.
for once, i didn't snack during the thrity minute break. improvements.

during sundae school, chris and i got into major chatty mood, we talked abit too much, which made benedict really irritated. but WHO CARES? he pissed the hell out of chris that day, and then i too, started to find him irksome and boastful. maybe we WERE abit too noisy, but that certainly wasnt his business. that stupid imp is soo...argh! the thought of him just pisses me. he was going on and on to justin about how "if he knew that he could use more than one booklet to write his essay, he would've wrote more and not squeezed and crammed everything" like. who the hell cares? if he can write so much chinese?! he is smart. we all know.but, don't have to talk big and so much cock. argh.

Then after that, we chatted abit with Luke. can't really remember about what. we asked adeline out on monday, but i guess she finds us too noisy, she didn't wanna join. luke wasnt free, and justin was at camp with benedict. now that idiot is gonna brainwash our friend till thursday. mebe, i pity justin, that he'll have to listen to all the braggings. Chris, jo and i will be there tomorrow night to witness talent night.we decided not to be sacarstic and just watch quietly. oh, about the camp, the fact that miss neoh keng ling is in charge, supposed "camp mistress" chris and i just sigh at that idea. the last time she went to camp, she brought a PILLOW and a BLANKET?!?! and slept so early, asking everyone to shut up, cos she wanted to sleep!! imagine that?!

Had chicken porridge in the car, on the way to tuition. tuition time..let's skip that part out. i was totally drained, but i managed to complete half my math homework there. ARGH! talk about hmwrk, im suppsoed to do my eng compre today...nvm. shall push that to tomorrow.

sunset gospel at calvary pandan was about rock music and how it affects. it was really "awakening" and thought provoking. hmm, but im quite happy with myself, cos i havent been listening to pop music recently. went to west coast for dinenr after that. oh. it was fathers' day. sorrie. din't wish dad.

couldn't sleep on mondae night, and was still in the chatty mood, chris and i chatted on the phone till 12, then smsed, and i decided that it'll be better to talk, cos i felt resticted to typing what i wanted to say.she called my hp at 1, and we talked for 41 minutes and 19 seconds!!! my poor phone. and so, since that night, i have been trying not to sms anyone or call. i seriously overshot again!! mummy's gonna make me pay!! eee...im sitting in the study, but i can smell ah boy boy from here! and it isnt a very pleasant smell. we freaked ourselves out that night, cos we felt like stalkers, talking and wondering about a particular someone. i mean, who would think that we, the stupid gigglers were talking about that someone at such an unearthly hour! if he comes to know, he'd be so disgusted and freaked by us. frenly people. haha.

woke up late on monday. rushed off to ballet, then after it ended at 2!! (that's 2 and a half hours of class!!) went to town to meet chris. i was so late, only reached at 3 10, and so, decided to catch the 5 o clock show. watched "finding nemo" its such a nice, sweet show! the corals are so pretty! even nicer than the corals ive seen on my various snorkeling trips.we had marche. ate pizza, shared a crepe, and tried to stuff down the stir fried veggies which weren't so nice after all. after the movie, took more neo prints. they turned out. ok. then we took the train back and i reached home at nine plus. we were really amazed with ourselves, cos we finally BEHAVED like ladies on mondae. we werent laughing crazily. maybe cos all was talked about the night before.

i was even later for ballet todae, and to make things worse, it was raining heavily this morning , so my sandals were all wet, squishy and cold.my joints felt terrible today. felt like rheumatism. i couldn't do the jumps properly today, actually, nothing was done well today. maybe its the weight issue again. now my poor joints cant take the weight of my body.
then we did POINTE work. and now, three blisters have poped up on my toes. i had no toe pads, so i stuffed toilet paper into the shoe and wrapped it around my toe. it did help abit at first, but as the session wore on, it had lost its effect. ended limping all around tampines mall. had lunch with dawn, bao wei and geraldine. had sushi, shared an unagi burger with geraldine, and a lemonade with dawn n geraldine. bao wei, was feeling fat again (don't ask me which part, cos she's isn't FAT) and didn't eat anything. only drank yuki nomi.

i fell aslpeet on the train. left at 430. reached home at close to six. slept till 7, dragged myself outta bed, for tuition at 730. i walked in late. again. at 745. lesson was more relaxed.he joked more with the group today, and tols stories so it was fun. and the lesson was only 1 half hour, so time just flew by, and soon it was over and time to go home. on the way back, grabbed a filet-o-fish burger. then mum said she bought durians. the moment i stepped in, i could already smell it. im living in a house full of the odour of durians.

Lydia will be leaving for Jarkarta tomorrow. supposed to send her off at the airport after ballet, but her flight is at three, whilst my ballet ends at 2, so there wont be time to hang out. mum may wanna take me out tomorrow. but she's not sure, and so, ive got second plans to meet chris, since we hafta be together in the nite again, to be at the yf camp talent nite.

i'll be out with justina on thursdae. gonna catch another movie. maybe how to loose a guy in ten day's or sth else. hmm( if onli it was the same name minus the A) haha. chris will like that -grins- oh no. im dreaming again. frankly, ive got sick of the idea already. talked about it too much. has become urm..hackneyed. if that's a correct word.

then on fridae, out with mum and sis again. shall ask mum for a pair of dress slippers. i dont know, but im really short of shoes and clothes! im wearing sis's stuff!! which are all too big for me, and so they look loose, and just sitting on me. not tt im thinner than her. more like shorter. yes. sadly.

Saturday would be ballet outing day, part 2!! yay! no ballet for the rest of the holiday after thursdae!!! wheee!

uh oh. its really really late. the cd is playing for the second time now. it's back to plie. so its time to take my leave. oh, i screwed up the music html or sth, so i lost the music. sigh.


good night.

i have a feeling i'll be late for class again tomorrow. shall get a drink of water.

charlene said a lil' prayer for you at 1:40 AM