Saturday, April 12, 2003


This isn't really a very good mood swing im in...now apparently. i feeel...low, down n out, lost?
sigh..i really dunno. Haaz..mebe most of this feeling is due to an overdose study of chinese?? Hmm...*ponders* maybe too much studying can really kill. but i was just thinking, maybe i should just go off after this and drown myself in studies..but i want someone to talk too!! i feel all down. maybe because its the ypg business again..i haven asked parents yet..i'm just afraid to head "No" i'm scared and i'm shunning such a response, that's why i'm feeling so down. partly, that could be the reason. second reason? maybe it's cos i'm feeling guilty that Lydia may be pissed with me..for...well..eating her lunch on thursday? geez..i know it sounds funny and stupid. but in a wae, i was insensitive! haiz..blame the pig in me i guess! So, i havne't talked to her since then, and it's too late to call her now..online, i dropped a message to her, and she din respond. maybe it was just her sis using the com i hope. hmm..i hope it's not that bad...it was over her lunch...ahh! blame it on greedy me =(

Hmm...i feel happy! urm..i was feeling happy till now, cos i managed to finish studying most of the sec 3a book! yay! woops! just remembered i already mentioned that yesterday night....oh well....

Argh..all the stupid issues are comming to me, and im feeling really disfunctional! i feel, psychologically sick. feverish. i'm ok physically i know, but its my brain, trying to psycho my body, telling it its sick...and i get this funny limp-but-not-limp feeling. anyone knows where i'm getting at? hahaz..guess not. maybe i'm the only weirdo around...to have such...unequal body mechanisms,,

charlene said a lil' prayer for you at 12:04 AM